Hiver, Shiver

I just wanted to say that, after some time spent away from this blog, I’m back! I’ve missed writing and I look forward to going on many more record hunts for Girls Who Wax in the new year. I’m still searching for that amp…

Sometimes, it takes only the simplest of actions to jolt your brain into recollecting memories that you had long-since filed to the back of your mind; well-loved scenes that play involuntarily and when you least expect them to. And so it goes that, while stirring cocoa with a wooden spoon, I no longer found myself in the kitchen of my London home; I was in Montréal, stirring cocoa in the pink floral mug that my flatmate and I would bicker over incessantly, all the while wearing two jumpers because of an icy cold draught that was invading our space through the small gap where my window refused to close for a brief while.

Reminiscing on these times, I sat on my kitchen chair sipping cocoa, being lulled by each recurrent motion: sip, dream, sip, sigh, sip. In Montréal, it wasn’t always the warm drinks that soothed me from the winter, but the sounds that I associated with home. In spite of the harsh cold and endless snowfall, I was warmed by evenings spent creating musical soundscapes that would bring me the feeling of home when I needed it most. Like putting butter on a cat’s paws, I readjusted to my new surroundings by playing these soundscapes. Over time, this quirky, small flat on rue St-Hubert became my quirky, small flat on rue St-Hubert, at least for a little while. Of all these artists that I would listen to in search of home comforts, Kevin Ayers remains the one that I return to time and time again. His sonorous voice, a distant lullaby, melted through the layers of hazy guitars and sung me to sleep on many a cold night. What will you dream of tonight, Lady Rachel? 

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As I found my feet in my adoptive city, its musical doors opened to me. Montréal quickly became a place full of thrilling adventures, musical discoveries and many, many records. And as I sit here thinking about Montréal, I think about the soundscapes I would create to bring back some of those warm memories. Especially on this bitterly cold evening. I’m looking for an antidote to these winter blues, but all I have is this playlist. Cue ‘Hiver, Shiver’:

 

Waxing Lyrical about ‘Horses’

 

I’ve thought long and hard about this, which album to write about here. Really though, I can’t say that I have had to think too deeply about it; I’ve known all along which disc I would wax lyrical about first. The one that I return to again and again; the one that I seek out for inspiration; first and foremost the one that I want to share with others.

Recorded by Patti Smith in 1975, Horses is a seminal album for anyone needing the inspiration to pursue their creative talents and to find their own voice. If you’ve never listened to this album- in full or in part- I would urge you to make a coffee, pull up a comfy chair and drop the needle.

I bought this album with my first bona fide pay slip when I was sixteen; I wanted to buy something that would be symbolic of my burgeoning independence. A few years before, walking down a hill on the way to a Chemistry lesson, a classmate had asked me in passing if I knew of Patti Smith. I hadn’t. At that time, I was still in the midst of listening to Bob Dylan’s entire back catalogue, hanging on every breath he drew and revelling in his lyricism. I had yet to reach the seventies and punk on this musical voyage. I spent the entire lesson passing metals through flames, watching them burn lilac, green and brick red, whilst pondering over this woman whose name I had heard before but never actually heard before. I ran home to try to find out more about Patti Smith- and discovered Horses. Whatever I had learned that day, it had nothing to do with metals.

Horses is the realisation of Patti Smith’s desire ‘to make a record that would make a certain type of person not feel alone.’ Listening intently, allowing yourself to be drawn in by the frenetic energy of the record, it does fill a void. Is it loneliness, or is it something else? Perhaps it is in knowing that there is an alternative to the status quo, another way of speaking, of writing, of creating, that defies the pre-existing rules that hold us back in our minds. Patti calls for us to break it up! and suddenly we don’t feel so alone in our rebellion. Unapologetically, she breaks down language and reconstructs it for her own means; creates a rhythm that harmonises with that of her own body.

What I should have learned that day involved flame tests and metal ions; what I actually learned that day involved realising the power of language to defy convention. I learned to listen to the rhythms of my own body, which were far from straight 4/4 time.

Turntable Tantrums

On a dull winter’s afternoon, one that was decidedly spectacular in its banality, I went for a long, slow walk to clear the cobwebs from my head. I was feeling –as my grandma would say- like a right old mardy bum. At that moment, having just left my only job, been left broken-hearted and rejected for scholarships all in the space of a week, I felt rather lost. I’d never before been in a position where I couldn’t see the road ahead and, like a stubborn racehorse at the starting line, I faltered. I was unnerved by my directionless existence. Nonetheless, as Ol’ Blue Eyes would say, that’s life. I couldn’t help but hear Sinatra’s musical pep talk play over and over in my head: ‘each time I find myself flat on my face, I pick myself up and get back in the race.’ In time I would see that to rip it up and start again would be a source of exhilaration rather than exasperation- but for now it was a challenge just to get out of bed. That’s life, indeed.

I decided to do the only thing that I could think to do in my melancholic state of flux: walk. This action of putting one foot in front of the other oils the cogs in my brain, you see, but sometimes the oil drips down onto my heartstrings and turns them a bit gooey. Years spent engrossed in French literature has taken its toll and I confess to be an unashamedly naïve romantic, fancying myself as a flanêuse for the modern age that we live in (and yes, I did just giggle to myself as I wrote that). So, on that dreary afternoon I took off in search of adventure with Baudelairian flair, hoping to find a record or two along the way.

Nothing beats a slow meander through a busy street to distract your mind from turning over like a stuck record; that anonymous crowd that unites you in humanity. In that moment, surrounded by people, your worries dissipate as you concentrate on navigating the ebb and flow of pedestrians. Or rather, as you try desperately to keep moving forward without bumping into anyone, avoid stepping on small dogs’ paws and maintain a constant awareness of your self and your belongings. Living successfully in London requires developing near-superhero levels of hyperawareness; there are small dogs everywhere these days. And so I took to the beaten path and joined a snail-paced crowd of tourists with big shiny cameras, resisting any urge to weave past them and rush off in front. I was an ocean of calm among a sea of stressed sightseers, taking in my metropolitan surroundings as if I too had a camera slung around my neck and a street map in my back pocket. That’s when I first spotted it, or to be exact: that’s when I first heard it.

There, nestled in amongst this row of garages-turned-antiques-troves-turned-coffee-shops, stood this old, Lilliputian record and hi-fi shop. It was little more than a ten by ten foot square rammed from floor to ceiling with towers of speakers, amps and turntables- but to me it was an idyll. From every nook reverberated bass grooves, cymbal clashes and guitar tickles; the Pied Piper’s anorak hymns lured me in to a twisted paradise.

I have been told on numerous occasions that for a girl, I talk an awful lot about hi-fi; my own mother once suggested that my bedroom looked more like a speaker showroom than the room of a teenage girl and asked jestingly ‘where were all the boy band posters stuck to the walls with lipstick traces of kisses, the millennial James Deans- where is Elvis?’ Of course, I had no interest in so-called rock royalty looming over me night and day, his effigy trapped in a pose that I am certain would leave even deities requiring hip replacements, when I could instead listen to his delinquent heirs serenade me at any time. I was on an aural journey of self-discovery, searching for lyrical answers and gathering the necessary tools to do so. This has not changed. My heart still flutters at the thought of one day owning a Linn turntable. I have no shame in my passion for high fidelity, but it feels like a boy’s club to which I have long been refused entry. My foray into this particular hi-fi shop was no exception.

Searching for an amplifier capable of powering a pair of Celestion Ditton 66s has been my quest for a long time now. Currently powered by a not-so-powerful little NAD amp, it sounds like a mouse trying to pull an elephant through a field. Passionate as I may be however, I do not possess a catalogue-like knowledge of every amplifier ever manufactured so that, just as Cher matches her outfits with technical glee in the film Clueless, I might match amp to speaker. I rely instead on the wisdom of others to help me in my search for that yellow checkered suit of the amplifier world.

Walking into this hi-fi trove, I hoped the proprietor might be able to shed some light on the matter. I began talking all things hi-fi with him- a grey-bearded man wearing a panama hat and matching straw-coloured suit. Fittingly, over the course of our conversation, his resemblance to that of a scarecrow became more apparent as he unknowingly scared me off of trading any of my hard-earned money with his wares. Early on in the sales patter, he was interrupted by a young man enquiring about a turntable. He made the mistaken assumption that we were together, even though we very clearly did not know each other and I very clearly looked irritated by this disturbance. Heaven forbid that I was an unaccompanied woman in his shop! He began to answer the young man’s questions, addressing both of us, until I was obliged to interrupt and explain that we were in fact perfect strangers. He looked surprised. Heaven forbid that I was an unaccompanied woman in search of hi-fi in his shop!

Having finished answering the young man’s questions, I was once again granted the proprietor’s attention.

“So, you’re looking for an amp. What speakers do you have?”

“Oh, a pair of Celestion 66s. I’m just looking for an a…”

“Ah, yes. Like those NEFs over there.” He pointed to a pair of quaint bookshelf speakers, walnut tops speckled with dust, their height measured a little below my knees.

“No, not quite. They’re a bit bigger than that.” I gestured their height with my hand, wavering at my shoulders.

“Oh yes, yes. Similar.”

“…Not really.” I replied.

I began to doubt that this man knew what he was talking about, but decided to humour him and see what he would suggest. But for the next twenty-five minutes, he preached his dogma: explaining that my whole system was rubbish, why I should buy one of his motor driven turntables, how awful modern hi-fi is, how Yoko broke up The Beatles. I believe that there was more, but I stopped listening after the first ten minutes when I realised that I would gain no new insight. Patronised, weary-eyed and none-the-wiser, I walked out; unable to speak because of all the steam pouring out of my ears. This happens all-too often, it seems.

My search for the perfect amplifier remains fruitless, until my next foray into the boy’s club.